


A Stag By the Horns

by railise



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-26
Updated: 2012-09-26
Packaged: 2017-11-15 01:40:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/521754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/railise/pseuds/railise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur is not impressed with Gwaine's stag-night plans.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Stag By the Horns

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [AG Fics Mini-Challenge 6](http://ag-fics.livejournal.com/81963.html). Prompt: "Any, Canon, Gwaine's (medieval) Bachelor party - Gwen and Morgana (coz it's crack/humor) are invited, but not Arthur."

If not for the fact that Gwaine was getting married in the morning, Arthur would have sent him flying into outer space by now. As it was, he was barely holding back.

"Explain it to me one more time: why you have invited my _wife_ to your stag night, yet left me off the guest list?"

Gwaine's cheery mood refused to diminish. "As I've said three times already, _she_ is lovely. _You_ \-- and no offense intended-- are not."

Arthur's blood boiled a little hotter. "And, as _I_ have said three times, lovely women are not the point of a stag night."

Gwaine shook his head in mock sadness. "It's a good thing you have me around, because clearly you are in need of interesting friends."

"But, why must she have tassels on her dress?"

"Again: boring friends."

Setting that aside with a low grumble-- at least both the gown and the tassles were decent-- Arthur tried, "That still does not explain why I am not invited."

"Right. About that..."

Arthur held up a finger. "If you call me 'boring'--"

"No, no no no. Nothing like that. It's only that you look awful in a dress."

Arthur stared at him, the truth dawning. "You've only invited women."

Gwaine's grin went from ear to ear. "Now, you're getting the idea."

"I maintain that you do not understand the point of a stag night," Arthur stated flatly. Suddenly, he caught movement in the courtyard out of the corner of his eye. Turning his head to look out the window, his heart leaped into his throat. "Alert the guard! Morgana has broached the citadel!" As he spun round to take off, intending to confront her once and for all, Gwaine grabbed his arm.

"About that, too..."

Dumbfounded, Arthur said, "Do not dare to tell me you invited _Morgana_." Surely, not even Gwaine would be so daft...

Elbowing him, Gwaine said, "Word has it you conveniently forgot how good she looks in a dress only a few years ago."

Outer space. Flying. Single punch.

Wedding tomorrow.

"If this goes south, it's on your head," Arthur muttered, beginning to stalk away.

"I have no problems about going south on my--"

"Good _night_ , Gwaine."


End file.
